Is Valentine's Day About Celebration of Affection or Public Validation?

As a kid, Valentine’s day was customary and who received your attention was usually arbitrary. We all remember exchanging those cute little cardboard cards with our favorite cartoon characters on them. They came in multiple packs allowing everyone in class to receive one. In the later years, schools began providing temporary shops for individuals to buy flowers and candy. For an extra fee, the tokens of affection would be delivered to classrooms. For those who had a significant other or a secret crush, it was a day of gleeful anticipation. To those who did not, it was a small reminder that you did not peek anyone interests romantically.

Although no one is going to make a direct correlation, I believe our education system inadvertently assisted corporations and the media with the idea that true love and its expression comes with gifts, especially those received publicly. It introduced the idea of providing, without the explanation behind it. From there, the comparisons began. The more roses and candy you got, the more it meant someone loved you. Could that be why so many equate love with gift receiving?

Forming those premises in one’s formative years can be dangerous. Also, did you know that 80% of our time in school is during cuffing season? Look it up, according to Merriam-Webster.com, “Cuffing Season” is  the time of the year when the weather starts to turn cold and people begin to actively search for romantic partners in the hope of having someone with whom to ride out the colder, snowier, bleaker months. Those months run from October through March culminating with Valentine’s Day.

If you are in a new relationship (which most young people are), be especially careful because you might also be in a period a limerence. Limerence is the temporary feeling of true love that usually fades out within a year. “Cuffing season” is limerence on steroids.  That is why so many people get engaged on Valentine’s day. They become so immersed in that excitement it sometimes suspends logic. That is why when people fall in love, they tend to say, so and so makes me feel young again.

Those cards that we had to pass out to each other I am sure was meant to serve as a source of joy and connection while strengthening bonds with our classmates. But over the years, not receiving anything on Valentine’s day has exacerbated feelings of loneliness, isolation, or unworthiness. That is why I salute that idea of Galentine’s day. It reinforces the concept of friends getting together to celebrate their appreciation for each other and a reflection of self-love.

Some people make fun of Galentine’s day but again, when I was in school, girls use to give other girls cards and candy all the time.  Back then, it had no romantic expression, it symbolized, you may or may not have a romantic Valentine, but you for sure had a friend that loves you. So, whether this Valentine’s day is a source of romantic celebration or the exchanging of platonic affection, do not let it be a source of negative connotation. Happy love day to all.